First contact

Contacting the adoption agency was as simple as filling in a form on the website with an email address and a telephone number. The excitement was palpable. The rest of the day was spent devouring online content about the adoption process. Reading every line on every page of the agency’s website, twice. For the first time in years, June and Bill were excited about the possibility of having a child. They felt anxious about being assessed and nervous about how long the process might take, but they were genuinely excited.

They didn’t have to wait long to hear back.

Day 2

The day after sending the enquiry, they received a response from the adoption agency’s training and development officer. She had booked them onto an adoption information event in 10 days’ time. At the time, this felt like an eternity to wait for the next step. Little did they realise then that the biggest lesson the adoption process would teach them was patience.

Day 7

Everyone handles their adoption journey differently. For June and Bill, it was important to be open about their journey and to share it with those around them. So on day 7, before they had even attended the adoption information event, they each told a sibling that they were looking to adopt.

Looking back now, they feel this might have been a bit early. However, in that moment it was what they needed to do. For some people it would be way too soon. For them, though, it gave them the support they needed. After these conversations, they knew they had no reason to worry about how friends and family might react to the idea of them having an adopted child. This had been a real concern they had carried for some time. The good news was that it was very rarely something people actually needed to be worried about.

Day 11

The day of the adoption information evening arrived. Their pre‑reading and previous attendance at a similar event for fostering meant they were well informed ahead of time. Even so, they found the event useful. There was lots of information about the adoption process and plenty of expectation setting.

Perhaps it was the way some of the information was delivered, but they came away feeling like the event was designed to be an eye‑opener for people who had been viewing adoption with rose‑tinted glasses.

One interesting thing that came up during the event, which they were not aware of, was the recommendation to wait six months after a bereavement before progressing. Just three months earlier, June’s mum had passed away quite suddenly. They chatted after the meeting and agreed that although it was clearly significant and had impacted them both greatly, they did not feel that the loss of June’s mum was a factor in their decision to adopt. They therefore agreed they wanted to move forward to the next stage, if the agency would allow it.

They knew the next step was to complete a form and have an initial visit from a social worker. This sent them into planning mode. They started making a list of all the jobs and tasks they had been putting off but now wanted to complete as soon as possible: both to start getting the house ready for a future little one and to make a good impression on the social workers! They also agreed they needed to work together to lose weight. If they were going to be parents, they wanted to get themselves fit, ready, and able to run around after a little one.

Day 12

Bill woke up with a severe pain in one of his feet. It turned out to be gout. If deciding to proceed with the adoption process hadn’t been enough motivation to take weight loss seriously, this certainly made sure he was serious!

He received treatment for the gout. The enquiry form was received, completed and returned. A diet plan was formulated. Starting weights were measured and goal weights set.

Day 34

Bill’s weight‑loss journey was going well, having lost 20 lb already. June’s weight loss was slower, but also headed in the right direction. They visited their local gym and signed up for membership. They agreed to go together twice a week and hold each other accountable, with an extra separate session each week. June wanted to do a class while Bill stuck with running and weights.

It had been almost two weeks since they returned their enquiry form and they still hadn’t heard from the adoption agency. They sent a follow‑up email and were told they should hear something back no later than Wednesday of the following week.

Day 39

As promised, they received an email from a social worker at the adoption agency who arranged to visit them at home. Unfortunately, this wouldn’t be for another 39 days.

Day 66

During a catch up with their friends, the ones that are expecting the twins, June and Bill shared the news that they were looking into the adoption process. As always they were anxious about telling them, but their friends were overjoyed to hear their news and agreed to provide references for them.

Day 68

After what felt like an incredibly long wait, the day finally arrived for them to meet the social worker. Bill’s weight loss had gone exceptionally well, having lost 45 lb already. June had also done far better than she expected, though not quite to the same level as Bill. At this stage, she began to consider using a GLP‑1 injection, as research suggests it can be particularly effective for people with PCOS.

The meeting with the social worker went well. They had thought the person they were meeting would be their social worker throughout the process, but this turned out not to be the case as she was going to retire soon after. They were disappointed as she was lovely and they felt they would have a good rapport with her. The meeting itself was quite straightforward. She asked a bit more about June and Bill, talked them through the process again, and had a look around their house.

The social worker confirmed as she left that she was recommending they be invited to start Stage 1.

This meant the next step for June and Bill was to complete a Registration of Interest form, which would be sent to them shortly. After that, there would be training, references, financial checks, a DBS check, other background checks, employment checks, and a medical. The whole Stage 1 process would likely take around two months.