Stage 2

Day 204

Stage 2 hadn’t officially begun, but Bill and June took a big step: they placed a deposit on their pram/travel system — a Cosatto Wow XL.

They knew it was slightly premature, but it was the one they wanted, on a great deal, and the store kindly agreed to hold it indefinitely until they were ready to collect. The travel system appealed because it was flexible: it could be used as a carry cot, a seat, or with a car seat adapter. It included everything needed for day one, including the ISOFIX base and car seat.

A key feature was that it could be set up as a single or tandem, without being much larger than the single Wow3. In fact, once you add a toddler board to the Wow3 (built into the Wow XL), they are about the same size. Bill and June found it amusing to discover later that it could, if needed, carry four children simultaneously: one in the seat, one in a car seat, and two on the toddler board!

Placing the order felt like a major milestone. Probably the first real acknowledgement that they were going to have a child. Energised, they immediately began preparing the nursery the next day.

Day 210

Helen, their social worker, visited Bill and June at home and helped them book all their Stage 2 appointments. These were split into five sessions covering:

1. Relationships, motivation for adoption, and support network.
2. Individual sessions with Bill and June separately, covering childhood, health, previous partners, and identity.
3. House and home, finances, hobbies, interests, employment, and education.
4. Adoption, early permanence, childcare experience, and therapeutic parenting.
5. A final catch-up to ensure everything needed for their Prospective Adopters Report had been covered.

Helen would also meet with their referees to discuss the references they provided. Additionally, she helped them review plans for the garden and gave advice on what would be acceptable for an adoptive household.

The adoption panel was set for Day 285.

Day 213

Bill and June attended the Baby Show at the NEC. It was an interesting day, and they found it exceptionally useful. Given that so few places have a good range of baby-related equipment on display in one location, it was a great opportunity to see various items they had only seen online and to speak directly with different vendors.

The most exciting part for them was ordering furniture for their nursery, including a cot bed, dresser, wardrobe, rocking chair, and stool. They also picked up a load of other baby goodies for free from various vendors as part of the show promotions. Overall, it was an experience they would recommend for any parent preparing for the arrival of a little one.

By lunchtime, they were done and decided more shopping was on the cards. For some time, Bill had been threatened with the need to change his un-family-friendly two-door, two-seat sports car for something more closely aligned with a “sensible family car.” Note: Bill’s idea of a “sensible family car” does not match the socially accepted standard for such a car, but it does at least have four doors, four seats, and ISOFIX. Fortunately for Bill, June also has a soft spot for nice cars, and despite initial protests, she was powerless to deny that his choice was right for them. A deposit was paid, and collection was arranged for a few weeks later.

The stage two sessions

Stage 2 flew by. Compared to Stage 1, or the pre-Stage 1 period, there was always something happening. Combined with house and garden renovations, life felt manic.

Bill and June didn’t keep as complete diaries during Stage 2, but they both felt that, while Stage 2 was challenging and dug into difficult areas, it wasn’t as bad as they had expected. They had built a fantastic relationship with Helen, and their practice of reflecting together after each session helped them process their feelings and stay comfortable with the process. The 5 sessions that made up stage 2 took place on days 215, 219, 228, 233, and 240.

Their main advice for anyone entering Stage 2:

• Be open and honest with your social worker, yourself, and your partner. Bottling things up only makes it harder.
• Take time to reflect and discuss your feelings together. This ensures you are on the same page and can support each other when needed.